


Nothing Without You

by Lady_Leopard



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blood Magic, Character Death, Depression, F/F, F/M, Heartache, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi, but they come back!, magical time travel, my goal is to make you cry, then to make you feel okay again because you deserve the happy ending you work for!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-01-24 14:27:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21339718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Leopard/pseuds/Lady_Leopard
Summary: On the day of the great battle Mordred and Morgana cast a spell over the Kingdom just as Arthur was mortally wounded. The spell, one born of dark magic, trapped Camelot in a bubble of suspended time. Never aging, never truly dying, simply living each year moment by moment. Praying for salvation. The fact that they dared to play in magic they could not even begin to fully understand still shook Merlin to his core. Having to live darkened lifetimes without the other half of his being. For now, all Merlin could do is wait. Wait as the days turned into months, months turned into years, and years turned into centuries, for the return of the King.The spell that had been cast sealed his magic, and sealed everyone forever in the Camelot of Mordred’s choosing. So while the world grew old around them, they were forever locked in a bubble of time, in the time of magic and knights, of true good and complete evil. Without Arthur and Merlin together, the dark warlock ruled supreme, damning the people of Camelot to servitude until the day that Arthur returned.  If Arthur ever returned.All they could do now is wait…..
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 28





	1. A New World

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story I have ever posted. A lot of love is in this fandom for me. I grew up reading stories of Arthur and his Knights. And to see it on a screen with such lovable actors was magical.
> 
> I also have to give a big thank you to my wife who has never watched the show but has still edited my work because she knows how much this means to me. Thank you Charming. For being well... charming.

Preface : Sealed Magic

Mordred had once said that Arthur was nothing without Emrys, and Emrys was nothing without magic. And for a time, he was right. Though they had succeeded in the death of the King, they did not succeed in destroying the hopes of the people. No matter the terrible life Mordred put them through, the people of Camelot still held onto the hope that one day their King would return and reclaim his place on the throne. It was proving to be a false hope, as more and more people gave into the darkness cast over their kingdom. Though the Knights of the Round Table held steady in their battle. Ever faithful in their King.  
On the day of the great battle Mordred and Morgana cast a spell over the Kingdom just as Arthur was mortally wounded. The spell, one born of dark magic, trapped Camelot in a bubble of suspended time. Never aging, never truly dying, simply living each year moment by moment. Praying for salvation. The fact that they dared to play in magic they could not even begin to fully understand still shook Merlin to his core. Having to live darkened lifetimes without the other half of his being. For now, all Merlin could do is wait. Wait as the days turned into months, months turned into years, and years turned into centuries, for the return of the King. 

The spell that had been cast sealed his magic, and sealed everyone forever in the Camelot of Mordred’s choosing. So while the world grew old around them, they were forever locked in a bubble of time, in the time of magic and knights, of true good and complete evil. Without Arthur and Merlin together, the dark warlock ruled supreme, damning the people of Camelot to servitude until the day that Arthur returned. If Arthur ever returned. 

All they could do now is wait…..

Chapter One : A New World

“Merlin, you do not know if this spell will actually work. You have no magic.” Elyan kept his voice low despite knowing that they couldn’t be heard. He and the other Knights all gathered around their magic-less Warlock; all kept at bay by a wall of fire.

“It is the only chance we have left!” Voice shaking with the force of his words Merlin stared at them all over the flame. “Arthur has not been born into our life cycle. There has not been sight of him since the spell was cast, and he was wounded! Obviously he has to be outside the barrier. Arthur was supposed to come back to us when Camelot was in need, Camelot has been in need for nearly a thousand years. For all we know our idiot King has forgotten us, or needs us.” Holding a tattered scroll in his shaking hand the warlock shook his head, trying to focus on the task at hand. As the flames drew closer to his body his hand lifted as if to command the elements. With Arthur’s crown rested on his head, ancient words tumbled from his mouth, holding the world at his command. Drawing his hand in he sliced his palm with a dagger in an attempt to add blood magic to the spell.  
“Merlin, you have to stop this. You are going to get yourself killed then what will we do?” Gwaine attempted to step forward but was quickly yanked back by Percy as the fire licked at his skin. Sharing a look the two knew that their time to act was drawing close. 

“This spell will either kill me or take me to Arthur. Let us hope for Arthur. Heed my words, my magic will return once Arthur and I are united, it has to. Then I will bring him back to us all. What I need from you is to stay low and gather support. I have to tell him he has lost his Queen and his Kingdom, I do not want to tell him he has lost the hope of his people.” Looking over at all of them the warlock gave a kind smile before turning his attention to the scroll. Spells did not need a screaming voice to work, but a strong whispered voice that spoke with purpose. As the last words of the spell left him, the scroll fell into the fire, causing it to turn blue as blood and magic mingled.  
Words echoing through the night fire began to lick along the brunettes skin, consuming his entire being before the fire suddenly vanished with Merlin inside. The spell was one designed to bring the caster to the object or person of their desire. One could only hope that Merlin desired Arthur most.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
What many did not know, is that magic coursed through the inner coils of the earth. It heard all, saw much, and never gave exactly what you were asking for. Instead, magic gave those who were worthy exactly what they needed even if they themselves did not realize it. Which all should have been relatively easy for Merlin to remember, given the fact that he was Emrys. Or if he had even spared a second to think about the fact that Mordred’s hatred had not only managed to twist magic around him, but it had allowed the younger warlock mastery over the High Priestess herself. 

“Ugk.” The pitiful noise that left him was something he could only hope was in his head and not said aloud, for it was an embarrassing noise. Stretching out his tired limbs, as if to reassure himself that he had them all, Merlin went still upon feeling the soft surface beneath him. It had been quite some time since he and the knights had even had cots to sleep on, so where exactly was he?

“Up and at ‘em, lazy daisy!” 

Eyes springing open as bright sunlight filtered into the room Merlin stared up at the blond who had all but sang his old morning mantra to him. “Aa-Arthur?” The warlock croaked, his trembling hand lifting to push through his dark curls. When he came in contact with clean, dry, hair his brow drew together in worry. “Arthur, what is going on?”

“What’s going on? Merlin. Are you serious? We have brunch plans with your mom and Will!” All beaming smiles and soft gazes Arthur made his way over to the bed where Merlin had been asleep. “Are you feeling alright you dolt? I told you not to stay up so late working.” Reaching out a frown touched his features when the other shrank back from his touch. “Love, are you really alright? You’re starting to worry me.” Laying a hand on his forehead to check for a fever Arthur’s thumb stroked gently over the other’s sharp cheekbone. 

“I can call them both and cancel if you don’t feel well. Last thing we need is you getting a cold like last time.” When Arthur reached over to the nightstand beside his head for a thin black box Merlin began to realize he was in a cold state of panic. 

“I have no idea what you are saying to me.” The warlock admitted softly, his voice laced with traces of panic. “Where am I?” Casting a look around he had to assume he was in a bedroom, yet nothing was the same as he remembered the King’s chambers being. Unlike the bedroom he had known for so long at his King’s side, this was vastly different. Gone was the heavy wood pieces and large canopy bed. Instead they were in a sleek looking room, with a simple yet soft bed, and minimalistic touches.

“Alright, now you are really starting to worry me. Merlin, you’re in our bed, in our flat, in London.” Hoping to prompt the other into his right mind Arthur placed both hands against the other’s pale cheeks, blue clashing against blue as he searched his gaze. “Do I need to call a doctor for you?” 

“What are you talking about? Arthur… Is it really you?” Trembling under his touch Merlin desperately tried to look past his own confusion to see the man before him. The spell had worked, this was Arthur, alive and real and … staring at him with absolute confusion. Yet that realization did nothing to stop the tears that started to gather in his thick lashes. Surging forward he wrapped his arms around Arthur’s neck, trembling in the man’s hold as he cried into his shoulder. “Oh Arthur! You idiot! I’ve waited so long to see you again.” 

“Merlin, love…” Sighing softly the blond wrapped his arms around the lanky man in his arms, cradling him close as the other cried. “Did you have that nightmare again? I told you, it’s all just a dream. I never died, you’re fine.” Stroking back his dark hair Arthur cradled the man against him, pressing a tender kiss to his head.

“What? No!” Pulling back sharply his cheeks were flushed with much more than tears as he scrambled to get out of the bed. “Arthur, you died. Camelot has been in turmoil for nearly a thousand years. And I had to use a spell to find you. I don’t even know where we are!” Stomping his bare foot on the carpeted ground Merlin couldn’t help but allow his gaze to finally drift around him. “The spell was supposed to take me to where you were the most. How long have I been here?”

“Merlin… Listen… That is all just… a fantasy. Camelot isn’t real. This is London, you and I have been friends since we met in primary school. Remember? You used to come to all of my footie games even though you didn’t know what any of it meant?” Arthur prompted, his hands held out as if he were talking to a startled animal. 

“Footie? What in the name of the gods are you talking about?” The warlock demanded, his brow drawn together, which only made Arthur sigh.

“You really are hopeless, aren’t you? Merlin, we went to school together. We’ve been living together since we moved to London… Dating since well… It seems like forever but it’s been official for nearly two years. Did you take your medicine last night before we went to bed?” Reaching out to touch his arm Arthur had to rear back when Merlin slapped at him. 

“Stop it! I don’t know what London is! Or what… any of you said is!” Ducking past the other Merlin ran, panic raw in his chest. This is what the Knights had attempted to warn him of. With the fact that his magic had been bound for so long it could have done anything when mixing blood magic and bound magic. Barring himself in the nearest room he found Merlin let out a gasp upon seeing what appeared to be a washroom. 

Much like the bedchamber he had been in before everything was sleek, clean lines and warm colors. It didn’t make sense as to how this could be in their world. But… he wasn’t home in Camelot. And Arthur still knew him? Was this some sort of trick?

Moving to look at himself in the mirror Merlin frowned at the reflection that was his yet… not. It wasn’t himself at all. This was not the man with too shaggy hair that was held with a leather band and a sword on his hip. This was someone… young once again. His ears appeared to be pierced, with thin black hoops in them, and his hair was soft and lush. Something it hadn’t been in quite some time.

“Where am I?” He whispered to himself as he reached out to touch the mirror. It was only then that he realized something important was missing. “The crown. Where is his crown? And his ring!” Slamming a hand on the glass he turned suddenly, only to find Arthur standing there with a thin golden key in hand and an odd bottle in the other. 

“Merlin… You are starting to worry me. You need to take your medicine. Will you?” Arthur asked softly as he approached the other. 

“Medicine? What do you mean?” Turning to face his king Merlin felt his head tilt, and that drew his attention to his ears. “What are these?”

“Your earrings? You got them when we were… Sixteen? It was when I got my first tattoo. Remember? We got in so much trouble. My mother was livid. Your mother refused to let you remove them, said people had to live with their mistakes.” With a teasing grin he filled up a cup by the sink with water, setting it down before pouring two pills into his palm. “These will help you Merls. Sometimes your dreams get mixed with reality. And these help.”

“But Arthur, Camelot is my reality.” The warlock insisted, only to be met with a silent plea for the medicine to be taken. “Alright Arthur. Alright. But will you listen to me after? And answer all of my questions?”

“Anything you want.” Arthur promised, heaving a sigh of relief when the brunet took the pills. “I rescheduled to dinner with your family. Your mom said that was fine, she wanted to make Will take her shopping anyway.” 

Staring up at the other for a long moment Merlin felt the ancient hurt move through him, but said nothing to the fact that they were dead. It was not something he wanted to argue with the man about. Nodding carefully he allowed Arthur to take his hand, leading him into what appeared to be a sitting room. “We seem to be up high. Is this simply one room in your castle?”

“Ah, no darling. This is our flat. Remember? We moved here a little over a year ago. The second bedroom got turned into my office and your art studio?” Sitting Merlin down on a plush leather sofa he forced a cup of tea into his hands. “Drink some tea.”

Taking the cup from his hands rather dumbly the warlock’s fingers curled around the delicate material curiously. It was odd that Arthur would hand him something so delicate for what appeared to be every day use. Yet seeing the odd painting along the cup his brow furrowed. Nothing about this made sense. “I was wearing a crown when I came here. What happened to that?” He found himself asking first, his gaze moving over the blond.

“Merlin, I know we like to have fun in bed, but you weren’t wearing a crown.” Arthur attempted to tease, though he couldn’t help but notice that the hand he set on Merlin’s knee made the man uncomfortable. So carefully, he removed his hand and clasped them together. “Let’s try this then. Merlin, love, when you were younger you had an accident that affects your memory. If you take your medicine it helps, but nothing will really heal this. You and I have had this talk several hundred times in our life together.” 

“I do? We have? Why would you stick around then?”

“Because I love you, you idiot.” Snorting at the audacity his love had Arthur held out his hand, palm up, simply waiting. 

Staring at the hand for a long moment Merlin made the decision to take it. After all, he had come here on a mission. The spell was designed to take him to the place where Arthur spent most of his time. Which meant that this could easily be Arthur’s home, and he could easily have taken the place of whoever it was that was actually in Arthur’s life. His magic was bound to be a bit unpredictable, and if he had any hope of getting out of this, he needed to play along.

“I love you too you know.” Even as he said it, he could feel the heat spreading across his cheeks, a clear indication of a blush. It was the first time he had ever admitted it aloud. 

“I know. Which is why we are going to get through this together. Now, would you want to watch the video we made forever ago to help you when you have a bad episode?” Arthur asked, giving his hand a squeeze before finally bending down to drop a kiss to it. 

“A video?” Head tilting as the word stumbled over his tongue Merlin followed Arthur’s insistent tugging and moved to sit at his side. “Alright, show me.” 

Pulling his phone out of his pocket Arthur didn’t miss the odd way his love stared at him as he unlocked the screen and searched through his archive to find the video. It had been Merlin’s idea, an odd hope to help him remember certain things. They had taken it after Merlin’s last bad episode right when they moved into the flat they had now. 

Something had been off with his lover then, at first they had both thought it was nerves. But then… the night terrors started. Full force night terrors that found Merlin waking up in other rooms, drenched in sweat as if he had run a marathon. It took some sessions with a doctor, but they had managed to find the right balance of medications and memory exercises to stabilize Merlin’s mind. He could only hope the video worked after so long. Especially given how bad of an episode Merlin seemed to be having. 

“This is marvelous.” Merlin murmured, only to be shushed by Arthur as he turned the phone at an angle to better show him the video.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you think he survived it?” Carefully helping the ancient man hobble along the burnt path Gwaine winced when his hair was tugged as Gaius slipped. Righting the elder he handed the man the large walking stick he had been carrying for him. 

“If anyone would survive such an idiotic thing, it would be Merlin. Did any of the spell survive?” When the knight shook his head Gaius let out an annoyed grunt, before he began picking over the ritual site. Times had grown desperate in Camelot after nearly one thousand years of being trapped in an endless loop. Neither dying nor living. Simply existing. Feeling the pain of it all, yet missing all of the joy. But for Merlin to pull such a dangerous stunt… He would strangle the boy if he somehow made it back. “Do you remember what he said? Anything?”

“We do not know how he managed it, but he created a circle of fire that we could not jump over. Not even Percival could see him over the flames. We were shouting at him, begging him not to do this. I know he cut his palm.” Pulling the wrapped dagger from his belt Gwaine carefully unwrapped it, showing Gaius the item that had aided Merlin in his spell. “And he wore the crown of the King upon his head.” 

“Did he have the ring as well?” 

“No, Guinevere still holds it. He had the crown, Arthur’s dagger and an old scroll. He told us that the spell was meant to take him to wherever Arthur was. Or kill him trying. And he told us that once they united it would unlock his magic.” When Gaius trembled from standing too long Gwaine reached out to support him. “I should get you back.” 

“At this point Gwaine, we can only pray that Merlin returns to us. He is the most powerful warlock known to man, yet with the binding spell that none of us have been able to break… It could surely mean that his magic is fully tied to serving Arthur. Which is why the spell worked.” Voice wavering the elder trembled, allowing the younger man to support his weight. 

“Well, that means Mordred knew a bit more than we ever gave him credit for. Now, let’s get out of the open before we are caught.” With gentle prodding the knight led their old healer away from the chaos that was Merlin’s spell, the burnt earth crunching under their boots as they worked their way back towards camp. 

All they could do now was hope for the best and attempt to keep from getting captured.


	2. 42,000,000

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dude, Chapter 2 was posted on time. I am freaking out.

Chapter Two: 42,000,000 Results

Given how… well… Merlin had reacted to the video diary, Arthur had completely canceled plans with his mother and Will. Which he was honestly thankful for. He wasn’t sure if he could handle meeting people who were meant to be his family yet they so obviously weren’t. They had ordered in, something that fascinated the warlock, and shared a rather odd dinner together. Arthur treated him as if absolutely nothing was different, which threw him for a loop. What was the mental illness of the man he had taken the place of that Arthur thought this was normal?

Laying flat on his back in their shared bed he stared up at the ceiling, his hands clasped on his stomach as he listened to the soft snores of the man beside him. It had been so easy for Arthur to drift off, lying comfortably on his side with his fingers barely brushing against Merlin’s pillow. It seemed to make him so happy to have that small connection, which only served to further Merlin’s confusion. 

Careful of every movement the warlock found himself slipping from the bed, his bare feet padding gently on the cold tile floor as he slipped from the bedroom, careful not to wake Arthur in the process. As quiet as a mouse he tiptoed towards the room that held the king’s office, slipping inside and turning on the lights. Thankfully as his mind seemed to calm from the panic he seemed to recall more and more about this modern world. Which in and of itself was concerning. He knew he was not a man of this time, was it possible his magic was at play? Giving him the memories from the life of the man he had replaced?

Shaking his head to clear the thoughts Merlin made his way to the desk, ready to research everything he could about the life he had here with Arthur, and what became of Camelot in this reality. He needed to know what it was possible for Arthur to have knowledge of, that way he could get them back to where they belonged. 

Sitting down upon the odd leather chair Merlin decided he would not take the time to marvel at such a simple invention. Really. If wheels on chairs had been around when he was servant to the king he could only imagine how easy cleaning around the throne would have been. Carefully opening the thin object before him he felt his nose wrinkle in distaste. Some of this modern world was truly a wonder. Plumbing for one. Obviously invented by someone who had to clean out the wrong chamber pot. And while he didn’t enjoy the telly, he did enjoy the mobile Arthur said was his. So much knowledge on one small screen. 

Which is what had brought him to the laptop. Arthur had told him that most of his work happened in this room, a businessman which seemed like a vague way of saying his friend did nothing still. Though he wisely kept that opinion to himself. 

Squinting against the bright light the screen cast over his face Merlin began poking at the keys, his gaze narrowed on the laptop. Pulling up the internet like Arthur had showed him he began with simple searches. 

“Camelot… about 42,000,000 results? And yet he doesn’t know?” Realizing how loud his voice sounded within the quiet of the office Merlin hunched forward a bit, beginning his long search through the history of what had happened to Camelot. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was some hours later that the warlock went storming back into the bedroom he apparently shared with Arthur Pendragon, his mood sour. After extensive research on Camelot, King Arthur, Albion, anything that he knew to be true, Merlin had discovered it all to be a myth in this land. The spell Mordred had cast completely removed them from the growing and changing world. There were people who believed, but most did not. One of the “did nots” being Arthur himself.

After such a disappointing discovery Merlin decided he would research himself and Arthur. And oh did he find information on them. Splashed all over the pages of this new world. The gay son of politician Uther Pendragon was mentioned quite a bit in his search. Which only made his heart ache. Had Arthur really gone through all of that to be with Merlin Ambrosius? Whoever that was. He’d never held a surname, his family was too lowly for it.

Yet the thing he found more than anything, was that Arthur loved the man he was meant to be. Loved the man he thought Merlin was. Which made it all the more tempting to enjoy the time he had. To make the confessions he had never been able to make during their time together.

When the door banged up Arthur shot up in bed, his blond hair sticking up in tufts around his sleepy face, giving him the softest of halos. “Merlin?” Squinting at his love his gaze then turned to the clock and he groaned, dropping back down into their mass of pillows. “It is 4:30, in the morning! What the hell are you doing?”

“Wake up you clotpole. Get up.” Grabbing the pillow that was meant to be his yet lovingly held Arthur’s drool he smacked the blond with it. When he received no response he smacked him again, only to let out a, manly, yelp as he was suddenly grabbed. Dropping onto his back on the bed he stared up at Arthur with large eyes, his nose wrinkled in concentration. 

“It’s been quite some time since you’ve called me that imaginary word.” The blond mocked, his voice gruff with what was left of his sleep. With Merlin trapped beneath him he seemed to sprawl like a large cat, his head dipping down to rest against the warlock’s shoulder.

“You have no idea Arthur. Hey… Lift your head. I have questions.” It took some poking and prodding, but eventually the former King lifted his head, grunting as he did.

“What Merlin? What? We should be sleeping. I thought we answered all of your questions?” Groaning pitifully in the way a child might when forced to do something they didn’t want Arthur wrapped his arms fully around the slim brunet beneath him. 

“I have questions.” Came the simple answer which held a meaning that was not so simple really. It was enough to get Arthur to lift his head and peer down at him with all the tired irritation he could muster. 

“I will answer exactly three before I lay on top of you and go back to sleep. So make them count you dollophead.” 

“Stop stealing my words.” The response came weakly, a tremor running through him that made Arthur think he was cold. So as those strong arms secured themselves more tightly around them Merlin contemplated his three questions. “Three really isn’t a good number you know-”

“Merlin.” The blond pleaded, his voice thick with the want to impress upon his love how tired he was. 

“Fine! Fine. First, do you believe that Camelot could have been real?” Arthur snorted against his neck, but it wasn’t an immediate no, so he held out hope. 

“I suppose I do. My name is passed down generation to generation after all. Said to be his. But I haven’t really thought about it since we were boys and I heard your name. Don’t you remember our ridiculous games?” Arthur’s fingers trailed their way down Merlin’s right arm, the easiest place he could reach from his position atop the other. 

Staring at the other for a long moment Merlin smiled, a memory that wasn’t his sparking in his mind. “I do Arthur. You made me play the damsel because you didn’t believe magic could be real. Said I was more useful as the princess you needed to rescue. My mum made a dress for me.” Which, while something he would have done, was definitely not something he had done. And that thought pained him. Just what would he be taking away from Arthur by bringing him to Camelot?

“And you learned all of those dumb magic tricks to make me believe. You still have a magic box in the closet.” Snorting softly his nose drifted over Merlin’s cheek before he propped his cheek up on his closed fist, resting his full weight on his arm so he didn’t crush the other. “To sum up my answer, I believe it could have been. Just like unicorns or mermaids.” 

“Both of which are real.” Merlin insisted, wiggling slightly as he adjusted himself so there was a bit more space. Arthur was used to the touchy feeling portion of their relationship, but the man he had known was barely comfortable with hugging his wife. So this… this was definitely new. 

“Next question, can we go to the museum that is said to hold things of Arthurian descent?” As far as he could figure, that was where the crown had gone. Which meant he had to get his hands on it in order to do anything really.

The silence between them was thick as Arthur seemed to think over the request. Merlin knew how that thought process likely went. Once the blond had said something about not wanting to feed into his fantasies, but he also didn’t want to deny Merlin a direct request. “If we go you have got to take your medicine Merlin. I don’t want you getting lost in a fantasy when we have something real here.” 

“Fair enough.” Came the huffed response before Arthur could attempt to soothe the stink of the words with a kiss. “Final question… Arthur… Is this real… The love?” Because from all that he could figure, all that he could find, his magic had allowed him to seamlessly slot himself into the life of the man Arthur had loved. He wasn’t Merlin, yet held his name. Wasn’t Merlin, yet had Merlin’s mother and best friend, both of which had died before the curse and were reborn outside of it all. Wasn’t Merlin, yet had Arthur’s heart. 

“Hey, none of that. I know we aren’t exactly the most… traditional couple, but you know I love you. Don’t you? Merlin, I’ve been in love with you nearly my whole life. Granted, I didn’t realize it until we were sixteen and you had that odd growth spurt and were really just all angles. But it was the summer you got your blasted tongue pierced and I was lost on you even more.” Even as he spoke Arthur’s cheeks grew red, his whole face heating, which caused him to duck down and hide against Merlin’s lean body. 

Which Merlin was grateful for, honestly he was. He wasn’t sure how he would be able to handle it if Arthur saw the tears in his eyes. Taking a deep breath his arms wrapped around Arthur protectively, his fingers instantly going to the man’s golden hair. “Stop telling me such sweet things. Let’s go to sleep.” 

“Good. You exhaust me.” Grumbling as he tended to do Arthur dropped his weight onto Merlin without second thought, curling possessively around the brunet with a leg tossed over his hips. And selfishly, Merlin allowed himself to enjoy it. 

He might not have it forever, but for now, it was beginning to feel like all that mattered. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“What do you mean he got through the barrier?” Panic clear in her tone the hooded woman bristled under the onslaught of new information. 

“Merlin used blood magic and artifacts of Arthur’s, like the crown. According to the knights he is no longer here, vanished in fire. The hope is that he actually made it through and his spell worked.” Wrapped in a thick cloak against the chill of the night the former queen of Camelot shifted on the log she sat on, the fire doing little to warm her at this point. The chill her companion brought with her adding to her fright. “He… He could have gotten through… Right?” 

“It is entirely possible. He is Emrys. But Mordred’s spell that bound his powers would have twisted his intentions behind it. Combined with his blood, it is entirely possible he is in a lot of danger.” Reaching out a pale hand she grabbed at Gwen, pulling the woman closer to her. “But if anyone can handle it, it is Merlin.” Hoping the firmness of her tone settled her companion a bit she kept an arm around her trembling form. “How are the others?”

“Oh Morgana, Gaius grows so weary. He is so old now. At this point we all are. But, this spell is truly hell.” Leaning into her side brown eyes searched the night around them, constantly on guard for anyone that might have followed either of them. 

For nearly 800 years they had been meeting in secret, sharing hidden moments, fighting, trying to save their people from the destruction that hatred had brought them. By no means did any of that excuse what Morgana had done, but Gwen had come to learn that blame did nothing but hurt them all. As time went on, Morgana struggled, wanting to right the wrongs she had brought upon them all. As Gaius had told her once, time healed all wounds. Her calloused heart had softened and bled, showing her all that she had destroyed by following the path she had. 

Yet in bringing Mordred down the path of hatred and hurt with her, she had lost him. She had lost the bright man she had once called her kin. The spell had taken what was left of his humanity, leaving nothing but a shell of him behind. It was watching him lose the last shred of who he had been that had brought her back. Like the final light going out in a pitch black room Mordred had lost his humanity. 

“If he is in trouble, then we have to help him. Is there a way for someone else to get through?” Sitting tall now Gwen forced herself to push her own panic aside. It would do Merlin no good, and no matter what, she was the queen of Camelot. She would never stop fighting to get her home back. 

“If someone goes through the barrier Mordred will know. It is why the patrols have picked up. He felt the shift in the magic. Which reminds me.” Reaching into her cloak Morgana pulled out a map, passing it to the other with a soft sigh. “These are the new routes. It should help all of you stay safe.” When Gwen didn’t reach for it automatically she grabbed her hand and wrapped her fingers around the scroll. “You have to take it Gwen.”

“Doing all of this will not bring him back. You know that right?” It was a question she voiced often, never quite sure if her friend was truly back or if this was some sort of ruse. More than anything though, she wanted to believe. “No matter how thankful I am for it, I worry that it will get you killed. And then where will I be? Three loves lost.” 

“Oh Gwen, it will take more than the likes of man to kill me.” Placing a soft kiss to her forehead Morgana rose, her form once again hidden by the cloak. “I will research whether or not it is possible to send someone after Merlin. I’ll send you a message for our next meeting. Stay safe my friend.” 

“I can only hope you do the same. Thank you my Lady.” Clutching the map as if it were her greatest treasure Guinevere did not move until the fire was extinguished in a gust of wind and Morgana was long gone. If Merlin really had gone to the other side of the barrier, it meant change was ahead of them. Either he came back to save them, or they were doomed to fall under Mordred’s thumb. A resistance could only resist for so long when you lived forever. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Fiend! Villain!” Brandishing a spatula as he stood barefoot in the kitchen Merlin came down suddenly and smacked Arthur in the back of the hand. Watching as the blond yanked his hand back he was still able to come away with a piece of bacon, his grin bright with devious intent. “Keep your hands to yourself Arthur Pendragon!”

“That isn’t something you tell me often.” Wrapping his arms around the other Arthur refused to give up his stolen prize, but still held onto Merlin. Pressing soft kisses along his jaw he laughed when Merlin mockingly pushed at him, forcing them apart with a quick wave of his spatula. 

It had been a week, a week of getting to live here in this modern world with the man who had easily been the love of his life. Truly, it had been the greatest gift his magic could bestow upon him. And while these stolen moments were all a part of the grand plan to get Arthur to trust him enough to follow him to Camelot… He was enjoying having this.

“I cannot imagine why.” Dry in tone Merlin stared at Arthur for a long moment before he was suddenly scooped up into his arms and danced around the kitchen. “Arthur! Arthur the food is burning!” Laughing wildly his arms came around the other and the warlock indulged himself in a kiss. It was a blessing from the gods to see Arthur this happy. 

It wasn’t until Arthur got a kiss and a hand through his hair that he finally put Merlin down to go check on their food. It was with great maneuvering and skill that he was able to save some of their food, though a pancake was burnt and the bacon was extra crispy. “Are you going to work in your office today?” He asked as he plated their food.

“Nah, Sundays are normally our days together. Want to see if we can spend time with some of the family?” Dropping down to sit at their island Arthur couldn’t help but smile as he watched Merlin putter about their kitchen. He had been afraid after the bad episode that they would have another stint in the hospital, but the medicine had brought Merlin back. Just as the doctor had promised. 

“Ah… I don’t really think so. No offense to everyone else, of course, I am not sure if I can really… people. Does that make sense?” Nose scrunching in that way he had when deep in thought Merlin shifted his weight before making his way around to sit beside Arthur at the island. Plates out before them he leaned into the arm that curled around him. “I like being here with you.” 

“Well, I like being here with you. But your mother will start to think I’ve abducted you.” Rubbing a hand up and down his side Arthur tried not to think about the worried phone calls he had received from Hunith. “Where is your mobile by the by?” 

“Oh um… It’s somewhere here in the flat. Honestly I haven’t thought to look for it much.” Shaking his head Merlin leaned into the king’s side, indulging himself in a kiss to the cheek. The thought of seeing his mother, of having to live a life outside of the little cocoon of pretend he had built around himself, was a frightening one. Merlin had been doing everything he could to avoid it, even as he researched it. The world was so big now, people had spread everywhere. Logically he knew that they were not all Arthur’s to protect, though it certainly felt that way.

When your destiny was to return when Albion’s need was greatest he couldn’t help but wonder what constituted the “greatest”. Was it the suffering of his people back in Camelot? Or was it the war that seemed to break out world wide now?

It was a sharp tug to his ear that pulled Merlin from his thoughts, causing him to yelp and shove Arthur. Which of course led to wild laughter and threats before the blond began chasing him around the flat. Over furniture, through the living room and towards the grand balcony which gave him his small taste of the outside world. 

No matter how selfish, Merlin found he wanted to stay in his bubble just a little longer. Wanted to ignore the 42,000,000 reasons why they should return home. Wanted, more than anything, to bathe in this feeling of happiness before it was no longer his.


	3. Draped In Jewels

Chapter Three: Draped In Jewels

“Are you honestly telling me that none of my most powerful sorcerers can locate one warlock that has his magic bound?” Within the throne room of Caerleon the Grand Druid and High King Mordred was seething. The room that had once been grand with light pouring in on all sides was cast in darkness, with only torches to light the way. “It has been a weeks time!” 

“Our greatest apologies Sire.” A sorcerer had dropped to his knee before the man as he paced, easily followed by his lessers. After all, he was the star pupil of Mordred’s reign. “None of us could locate the warlock.” His gaze cut accusingly to the High Priestess Morgana who sat on the Queen’s throne.

Mordred followed the man’s gaze, and instantly slapped him, causing the man to fall at his feet. “You shall not look upon your Priestess with such contempt. Without her, none of us would be here.” For how far the druid had fallen into madness he still held Morgana in a place of reverence. She was the woman who had saved him, the woman who had fed his hatred and made him the man he was today.

“Oh Sire, do not be so mean to them. He knows little despite being so well trained.” Tone dripping with honey Morgana carefully rose up, her silk gown the gleaming crimson of the Pendragon crest. Jewels glittered from her, draping over her body, all gifts from Mordred. 

Despite the fact that the original plan had been for Morgana herself to take over Camelot, something had gone terribly wrong when their spell was cast. Mordred still held the wound of Arthur’s blade that had driven through his torso, sometimes it bled still, having never healed due to their magic. It was that injury, Morgana felt, that had driven her friend mad. Now Mordred himself stood as King, with Morgana at his right hand. Yet everything was decided through the Druid. Even she was not allowed to make a move without his approval. 

“It is I who trained him, and yet he disrespects you so.” Hissing his anger his eyes glowed black, a true sign of the dark magic that had festered within his soul; yet before he could strike, Morgana took his hand. 

“He is but a little man Sire. Come, sit with me. Send them all away and we shall figure how to find that blasted warlock. I have some information you may find useful.” Leaning into his shoulder the witch allowed her tone to drip with sweetness as she waited for his approval. The moment their King gave a nod of his head her head turned, her lips curled back in a snarl. “Get. Out.” When the sorcerers went scampering on their way Morgana carefully led Mordred back to his throne.

“Simpletons Morgana. Such simpletons.” Snorting softly the druid had to place a hand to his sternum as he sat down, a soft hiss escaping him. Which caused Morgnaa to summon up a pillow to tuck behind his back. Ever the doting Queen. “What news do you have for me?”

“My spies have given me… information. They say Emrys has gone beyond our barrier.” Knowing that Modred’s magic would lash out in anger, she allowed the blackness of it to hit her, let it push her to her knees as a soft cry left her. “I know this angers you my lord. I am so sorry.”

“Oh my Queen.” Seeing that he had hurt her Mordred pulled himself back, his once blue gaze laced with the inky black of dark magic. Reaching out he gently pulled her up, touching the blood that had begun to drip from the corner of her mouth with his thumb. Having her perch on the arm of his throne he gently pet her hair back. “I will get you more jewels to make up for such a heinous crime. You have done nothing wrong. Tell me more.” 

“My spies have said they witnessed a ceremony. That Emrys used the former king’s crown and blood magic in an attempt to get to him. If he had died, he would have returned by now. I think he is beyond the barrier. And if he is, someone must go to stop him. If he brings Arthur back, all we worked for will be lost.” Playing the damsel had never been her favorite thing, but Morgana had learned that in his deranged state, Mordred responded far better to her this way. 

“That fool, he couldn’t bloody well join us. Loyal to a false king to his death. I shall prepare men to go after him.” Hissing his discontent Mordred’s hand closed over her arm like a vise, as if he would drag her up off of the throne with him.

Before he could rise she placed a hand against his chest, whispering soothing words to make him settle. “There now. Actually… I had an idea for a gentler touch.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With the bitter taste of his so-called medicine on his tongue Merlin was pleased to say he was far calmer than he normally would have been riding in a metal carriage. A horseless carriage that made its own noise and acted as if it had its own thoughts. This outing had been something he was both dreading and looking forward to. A large plus side was Arthur’s hand that rested heavily on his thigh, his grin wide as the wind whipped around their hair as he drove them in the convertible. The minus? Having to leave their flat and break the little world that revolved around the two of them. 

“Why do you have such a sour face? We are going on a date!” Motioning towards the road in front of them as Arthur couldn’t help but scoff at the panicked look Merlin sent him when he took his hands off of the wheel. “Merlin, we are going to your favorite park, to have a lovely vegetarian meal and hopefully get you to relax.” Nose wrinkling he focused back on the road. 

“Please, please, focus on the road. I am fine. Right here, alive.” Clutching the arm rest beside him Merlin wiggled in his seat, though he did relax a bit at the notion of Arthur treating him so well. A memory tickled through the back of his mind, a lush park, a playful food fight followed by being shoved into a nearby lake and a rather hot make-out session. Which threw him for a loop. 

“You don’t have any whipped cream in the picnic basket, do you?” Feeling his shoulders relax as he angled himself towards the blond, watching how capable he was behind the wheel. The memory was such a sweet one that he could almost fool himself into thinking it was his own. 

The laugh Arthur gave was bright and filled with life, causing Merlin to crack a wide grin, the brunet barely able to hide a snicker behind his hand. “I have decided it best to forgo dessert this time. I thought if this went well we could maybe go to gelato?” 

“Gelato? I love gelato!” A small part of his mind registered the fact that he remembered things that were not his to remember, but the greater part of him remembered that he was Merlin Emerson, his middle name was Ambrosious, his favorite color was actually green and his favorite food was his mum’s beef stew. Things Merlin of Ealdor had never had, but… was he really that man? 

“I know you do, you positive berk. Acting as if I do not know you after so long. Honestly, I have never been so insulted.” Putting on his best offended tone the two didn’t last more than a few seconds in silence before they dissolved into giggles. 

“I cannot believe you called me a berk, you’re the berk. Honestly.” Snorting out his final laugh Merlin rubbed a hand over his face, his long fingers ghosting over the piercings in his ears before his hands settled in his lap. 

“I know you are but what am I?” Pitching his voice high as if to mock Merlin the blond reached out to take the hand that had been stuffed under Merlin’s knee, giving it a squeeze. “Don’t you have a better come back Merlin?”

“You can shove it.” Giving his hand a squeeze the warlock stared down at their joined hands before peering up at his love curiously. It was such a wonder, to feel all of these things come forth that were his yet not. And to see Arthur’s smile as they bantered. It was something he missed more than anything else. “Arthur… Thank you. For helping me through the rough patches.” 

“Look you numpty, you are the person I love more than anything. We have walked through hell and high water together, and we will keep going no matter what we are walking through.” Lifting their hands up he pressed a kiss to Merlin’s knuckles before Arthur let him go to focus on the road. It was a sharp turn and a rocky road before they were pulling into a spot and he turned off the car.

“I remember being here.” Sliding forward in his seat Merlin grinned, his nose wrinkling as he tried to bring the memory forward. “We always talked about getting a dog, so we can bring her here and throw a ball around on good days.” 

“Her? Excuse you, we are going to have two goldens named Simon and Garfunkel.” Undoing his seatbelt Arthur laughed softly before sliding out of the car. “Come on Merls, let’s go argue about the dogs under our favorite tree.” 

“There is no need to argue. Her name will be Lady. You know I want a dog like the movie.” Grabbing their basket he swung out of the car and moved to Arthur’s side, enjoying the way his strong arm came up and around his shoulders. 

“It’s nice to want things Merls.” Pressing a kiss to the side of his head he mockingly nipped at a large ear, which earned him an elbow to the ribs and a squeal, before they settled back together again. “But I think we both know we are going to just walk into the pound and find the one for us.” 

“We will go to the pound and find the perfect little girl.” Bickering back and forth the entire way to their favorite tree the two didn’t seem to stop until they had actually laid out their blanket and sat shoulder to shoulder with one another. It definitely was not the most convenient way to set up a picnic, but Arthur seemed rather comforted by having Merlin close. 

“Alright you ninny, we have your favorite spinach and beet salad.” Pulling things out of the picnic basket Arthur handed them over to Merlin with ease, before reaching for the next thing. “I also have an eggplant and mushroom pasta. A cucumber soup… Lets see… some fresh mint from your window garden. That you forget about.” Sending his boyfriend a mocking look the blond accepted the smack to his arm easily before he finished unloading their picnic. 

“Arthur… You hate all of this.”

“I don’t hate it. I simply prefer other things. But you like it, and that is worth it.” Wrapping an arm around his shoulders Arthur pressed a kiss to his head, which of course made Merlin giggle and push him back.

“Well, thank you Arthur. Even if you are a pratdragon, this is… surprisingly sweet. And let me guess, you have some chicken in there for you?” Merlin teased, leaning over to peer into the basket. 

“Fish actually, shows what you know.” When Merlin’s long fingers poked into his side he laughed, slapping at his hand before shifting around so they were facing one another while they ate. A comfortable silence fell between the two of them, at least, until Arthur decided he was going to speak up. “Merlin… I feel as if we should talk about you not wanting to leave the house. And about you wanting to go see the King Arthur museum.” 

A look of guilt crossed over his features, and Merlin began poking at his salad. “I really do want to see the museum Arthur.” Even if he couldn’t quite remember why. “I do not think it is such a bad thing to have an attraction to King Arthur. I mean, look at you.” 

“Merls, you know I am not that Arthur right? I am me. Just Arthur. Your best friend, your boyfriend.” Reaching out he laid a hand on the other’s knee, which earned him a scowl. 

“I am aware that I have not dated King Arthur, you berk. No need to remind me. At least he wore all that handsome armor.” 

“And what would you know?” Tossing a napkin at the brunet Arthur couldn’t help but sigh before stretching out his legs so he was wrapped around the other. 

“I know you are not him. Can we move on from it now?” Merlin asked, looking pained. And it was that look that earned him a brief reprieve on the topic, leaving the two of them to finish their date in peace. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Guinevere.” Nearly jumping out of her skin when a hand came to sharply rest on her shoulder Gwen spun, her curls flying wildly as she brandished her dagger. Luckily enough, High Priestess Morgana was quick enough with her magic to freeze the hand that attacked. 

“Oh gods, Morgana! I am so sorry.” Even frozen in place as she was, Gwen looked far more relieved to see Morgana than anything else. “Did I hurt you?”

“Certainly not. But good on you to be so alert.” Unfreezing her friend Morgana cupped her cheeks, drawing Gwen forward to place a kiss against her brow. “Are you using the dagger well?”

“Luckily enough I haven’t had to use it against anyone. But what are you doing here?” Sliding the weapon away she cast a look over her shoulder nervously, worried they might have been noticed. But Morgana’s magic had swept them away, leaving them in a private pocket of the forest where they usually met. “What is going on?” 

“Do not sound so scared. It is alright dear one. I came to say that I must go for a while. You will not hear from me.” Sitting down on the log they often sat upon she pat the spot beside her, her gaze soft upon the other. 

“What do you mean? You promised you would help keep us safe.” Especially given the fact that Morgana was one of the ones that had gotten them into this mess, no matter how just the cause. 

“I must go to help Merlin, to hopefully bring an end to all of this.” Reaching out she gently took her friend by the hand. “I wanted to let you know, least you worry that I do not return.” 

“Morgana no, please. Let me go with you. This is my friend. They will not trust you.” Shaking her head the former Queen knew that Merlin would likely run her through before ever trusting her to help. “Please, just take me with you.” 

“Guinevere, if we go, we must go now. You cannot tell the Knights what is happening. They will think you lost to them.” Knowing it was a steep price to pay, Morgana did her best to gentle her voice, though it seemed to do little to ease the shock of her words. 

“You mean… They would think me captured. You would allow yourself to keep playing the villain.” Pulling her hands away from the witch Gwen sent her friend a hard look, her fingers twisting together in a show of nerves. 

“I am the villain, dear. It is what I have done to myself, and something I shall live with. But I too am tired of this hell. And I am greatly tired of Mordred’s ever growing insanity. What good is having this power if I still answer to some man?” 

“So you will bring them back?” 

Scoffing slightly the witch rose, her magic rising to the surface as she held out a hand to the queen. “We shall, my lady. Come.” The two stared at one another for a long moment, before Gwen finally gave in and took Morgana by the hand. In a grand flash of light, the two were gone, leaving nothing but scorched earth behind them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arm and arm the couple walked through the streets of London, a gelato shared between them as they took a chance to window shop and enjoy the rare day of fine weather after their grand picnic. 

“Damnit Arthur, keep your mint weirdness to your side.” Merlin grumbled, pushing the green soft serve over with his tiny spoon, which earned him a resounding thawk from Arthur’s spoon.

“Hands off the goods Emerson. And you are the weird one. Hazelnut. What is the point? We have creamer in that flavor if that is what you wanted.” Nose wrinkling as he mocked his love Arthur let out a startled laugh when the other hit him on the cheek with that blasted spoon. Which of course resulted in Arthur promptly throwing away the spoon in the nearest rubbish bin. “There. Hit me with the damn thing now.”

“That was so rude!” Merlin gasped, his eyes widening comically, which of course made Arthur laugh like mad. “How am I supposed to finish now?”

“You are such a ninny.” Arthur sighed, letting go of the container so he could wrap his arm around Merlin’s slim shoulders instead. “How, take my spoon and feed us both.” 

“Oooooh. I see the end game here. You just wanted to be babied.” With a wicked smile the warlock scooped up some of Arthur’s flavor, offering to feed it to him. Before he could actually take a bite thunder suddenly sounded above them, causing Merlin to still. 

“The weather report was clear…” Frowning Arthur barely had a chance to get them under an awning before the sky opened up, heavy rain pouring down around them in fat drops. “What in the name… Did you see rain in the forecast?”  
“No… No I didn’t…” Merlin hummed, his worried gaze locked on the sky, the tiny spoon still held poised in his hand. “Arthur… this doesn’t feel right.” 

“It’s alright love. We’ll just wait it out and head back to the… Merlin!” As lightening cracked through the sky, a brilliant, shining white, the warlock collapsed, contents spilling from his hands as he went completely limp. “Merlin! Love!” Falling to his knees as he tried his best to hold the man who had become dead weight in his arms Arthur felt for his pulse. Little did he know that Merlin was reacting to a magical force entering the modern world, leaving him weak and helpless as his mortal body adjusted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite a tough family time, we have managed to post before the self imposed deadline! So proud of myself. Of ourselves.


	4. Dog From The Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all - sorry I had to go on Hiatus. It was... hellish if I am honest. Had a mental break, got better, got married, got into fights with family... it was a time to be sure. But I should be back now. I won't make promises for chapters. But thank you all for your interest still!

Chapter Four: Dog from the Dead

“Arthur, dear, hovering over him like this will not make him wake up.” Hunith’s voice was filled with warmth as she laid a hand on Arthur’s hunched shoulder. He was curled in on himself, his hand gripping Merlin’s as the other laid prone on the hospital bed. 

“He collapsed two days ago, isn’t that odd?” The blond asked yet again, his body dipping so he could rest his forehead against Merlin’s hand. “Everything was perfectly fine, then all of a sudden the rain started and he collapsed. We live in bloody London! There is always rain.” 

“Dear boy, you know Merlin is… frail. He’s never been a healthy boy. Scared me half to death as a child thinking that I’d never see him grow. But, he’s a fighter. On top of that, he has something to live for.” Gently coxing Arthur up she cradled his head against her stomach the way any mother would, her hand stroking his hair. “But you need to go home and get yourself situated. He would be angry if he knew you weren’t taking care of yourself.” 

Clutching at her in hopes of gathering some strength Arthur took a deep breath before forcing himself to stand. “You’re right Hunith. As always. I had better go home, get myself cleaned up. Just… Promise you won’t leave him?”

The stare he received was answer enough, and it had Arthur leaning down to kiss Merlin’s head. “I’ll be back Merlin, be good while I’m gone. If you wake up, I won’t be too angry that I wasn’t here.” He promised softly before taking his leave. 

As the blond took his leave Hunith sat on the edge of her son’s hospital bed, staring down at the boy she thought she would never see again. Yes, she had given birth to a Merlin, and he was a wonderful boy. But his soul had not been that of the wonderful man who was destined for greatness. It had hurt, to be compelled to create a shell, to know her son was truly not with them, almost as much as waking him up would hurt. 

“Merlin, Merlin my boy. You must awaken.” Voice soft the mother gently stroked back her son’s hair, remembering him when he was a small boy bursting with magic. Magic that seemed to be fading from him. “Up and at ‘em lazy daisy.” 

“Mum?” Trying to lift himself through the fog that seemed to surround him, Merlin's heart monitor spiked in a show of anxiety before he finally opened his eyes. “Mum….” Unshed tears clung to his lashes, and the smile Hunith gave him nearly broke his heart. Yet he couldn’t quite place why he was so sad. 

“Hello my beautiful boy. I have missed you.” The phrasing didn’t sit right in his mind, but brushing it off he pulled his mother into his arms. Though they both were shocked when a sob tore through him, bubbling up and escaping without any hope of being contained. “Oh Merlly, no need for tears. I am right here.” Bending down she wrapped him up in her arms, allowing her ancient boy to cry into her neck. 

“Mother, I have missed you so much. My heart, it hurts.” Stressing the words through his tears Merlin clung to the one being his soul thought he would never see again and cried. Cried for what felt like ages while his mother stroked his hair and whispered a soothing lullaby into his ear. It took some time to calm down, and once he was settled once again he felt terribly silly. They had lunch with his mother nearly every other week. Missing her to the point of tears was nonsense. “What happened?”

“You collapsed after an outing with Arthur.” Holding his hand atop the crisp white sheets Hunith gauged her boy’s every reaction, wondering if she had the heart to put him through more pain. She knew his destiny, knew the strength he held, just as she knew his place was beside Arthur. Was saving a place no one remembered worth the happiness of the one man she would die for? “Do you remember that?”

“I… We were sharing gelato. I remember feeling woozy and… Oh, Arthur will never let me live down fainting like a girl.” Groaning Merlin fell back against the pillows that had been propped up for him, his hand squeezing hers. “Did I hit my head or something?”

“No darling, you fainted, Arthur caught you. The doctors do not quite know what is wrong.” Wrapping both of her hands protectively over his own Hunith made a decision no mother should really have to make for their child. “But that is fine, they think you overtaxed yourself is all. And you’re doing so much better.” 

“I don’t understand what I would have done to overtax myself.” An unhappy frown crossed his features as he tried to recall what exactly happened during his wonderful date. The rain, the rain which was still pouring outside his window. 

“Merlin, you know you have a bit of a weak immune system. But that is alright. Arthur took great care of you. In fact he should be back soon. I had to beg him to go home and clean himself up. He had stubble, can you believe it?” Smiling when she made her boy chuckle the mother of the world’s greatest warlock settled in for her some of her last few days with her son.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I told you that I wouldn’t be too angry, but I am rather cross. Your mum already signed the discharge papers.” Arthur grumbled, freshly showered and shaved, his gaze sharp as he watched Merlin dress himself. 

“I wasn’t even awake to hear you say you wouldn’t be too angry.” Pulling his shirt over his head, which was Arthur’s because his King had a complex, the warlock finally turned back to face the man. “But I am ready to go home. I am ready to be done with hospitals.” 

“I’m ready for you to be done with hospitals as well love.” Wrapping an arm around his neck Arthur pulled him close, pressing a kiss against his head. He had been so afraid, so worried that this would be the time that Merlin wouldn’t pop back up and be alright. 

Leaning into his touch the warlock gave up putting on his shoes as he turned to press himself into Arthur’s body. This love, this tenderness, he wanted to take all that he could of it and store it away in his heart. After the talk with his mother, he knew that his time was limited. Knew that there was a chance once Arthur regained his memories of Camelot that he would pull away from the man that had been and turn into the King once again. 

The King had been someone that Merlin loved, adored and would take every chance he could to care for, but he was also someone who was married to the Lady Guinevere. Someone who put the kingdom first before all else… someone who might blame him for his death. 

“I love you Arthur, and I’m ready to go home.” Merlin murmured against his neck, enjoying the way the blond squeezed him before letting him go. Sitting down in the chair beside his bed he was finally able to put on his shoes, though he could feel the eyes staring at him. “What?”

“What did your mum say to wake you up?” Arthur couldn’t help but ask, even as he crouched down to help Merlin tie his shoes. 

“Oh you know mum, she called me Merlly and I was so mortified that I woke up.” The warlock teased, leaning forward to rest their foreheads together just so he could feel Arthur’s laugh. Despite knowing what they had to do, he wanted to enjoy the little bits of this life that he could. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walking around the modern flat Morgana Pendragon hummed lightly, wanting to keep the shocked Gwen calm. After all, travel to the world outside of Camelot was rather hard on the system. “Are you alright dear?” The witch asked as she touched another picture, adding herself to it beside her brother. 

“I um… I think so?” Gulping slightly Gwen was still hovering on the edge of the sofa, far too afraid to sit on the odd leather. “This is where Arthur lives?” 

“Merlin also, or at least the shell that had been Merlin until our warlock took his place.” The brunette explained as she moved on to the kitchen. Morgana herself had traveled to modern times before, just to check that Arthur had been reborn. It had all been a part of her plan, her need to save poor Mordred from the hatred that she herself had bred in him. 

“Shell? What on earth does that mean?” Gwen couldn’t help but ask, her body finally rising so she could follow Morgana. This was all so strange to her, and while she was struggling to take it in stride, even the clothing she now wore felt so odd against her skin. 

“I knew that once Arthur was reborn, the only way to keep him where I could keep an eye on him would be to have Merlin in his life. He was always in love with the idiot warlock. No offense darling, the two of you shared a soft love. But it wasn’t the right -”

“You can stop there. I am well aware of the love we had, Morgana.” Folding her arms over her chest Gwen sneered, not liking the way her friend was speaking. 

“Apologies dear, point being, that I created a shell for Merlin to step into when he finally found the courage to break through and find our lost hero. He was born of Hunith, had his best friend, and grew up beside Arthur. Lived the way a modern Merlin would have. That way, our Merlin had a life to step in to once he came to rest here.” She explained even as she cast a spell to make her final changes to the flat. It would help to awaken Arthur’s memories, and warn Merlin they were close. 

“You thought he might choose to say.” Gwen deduced, her brow drawing together in worry as she felt the final wave of magic move over her. 

“Wouldn’t you choose to stay? If the love you had always wanted was finally presented to you in such a pretty way?” The witch challenged, not liking the tone her friend was taking. Yet as they stared at one another something shifted. 

Gwen seemed to soften, her gaze locked on Morgana’s. Would she choose to stay and never look back in the name of love? She didn’t think she would, but she also had not suffered in the way Merlin had. She’d had Arthur at one point, had gotten to love and be loved. Even if the entire time Arthur emotionally remained loyal to Merlin, and she to another. It all made sense, even as it all didn’t. 

“I get it Morgana. Should we go now?” Holding out her hand the former queen smiled, ready for the moment to be soothed between them. Morgana was still on edge after all, knowing that Merlin would go straight for her throat. Which she herself would never blame him for, but she was also here to stop him. 

“Yes darling, let’s go before they get home.” Taking her hand Morgana whisked them out in a grand show of magic. After all, she wanted to leave traces behind for Merlin to follow. She couldn’t allow him to fall into the life of his shell. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Watching his Queen through the crystal Mordred let out a growl, the black that pulsed from his forever dripping wound causing him pain. Each time he gave into anger it caused him pain. How could Morgana do this to him? She should have set a trap, she should have left that wretched false queen in his dungeons. 

Yet there they were, in the modern world without him. He knew that if he himself went, it would eventually lead to his death. It was the constant cycle they were trapped in that kept him going. 

“Cenred!” Calling upon the dog he had brought back from the dead the King raised himself from his throne, casting the magical crystal aside. His body swayed, and without Morgana there to catch him he nearly stumbled. But Cenred caught him by the elbows, his hollow eyes staring right into Mordred’s rage filled ones. “I have a quest for you dog. You will now have a chance to be my knight.” 

Framing Cenred’s face with his trembling hands, Mordred's eyes glowed the deranged red of his corrupt magic, and he pressed his lips to the other’s, breathing literal life into him. Stumbling back the king found himself sitting on the steps of the throne, staring up at the cunning man Cenred had once been. “There you are my knight.” 

“Your knight? How dare you-” His hand went for his sword and Mordred slammed his hand down, bringing Cenred to his knees in a show of power. 

“Let us get this straight, dog. You work for me. I gave you life, and I will take it should you betray me. You are to go to the modern world, slay the false king and his magical traitor. Then you will return the Queen to her rightful place beside me. Slay who you must to complete this task.” Mordred warned, his gaze narrowing on the other as he fought to rise. Curling his fingers into a fist he slammed his hand down once again and Cenred was flat on his face. 

“I have control of your body. And should you think to betray me I will stop your heart in the modern world. If you die there, there is no returning. So heed my warning. Obey, or die.” With that he released Cenred, casting him back through a portal that drained the remaining energy out of Camelot’s current king. 

There on the steps of his throne, Mordred fell into a fitful sleep, his wound throbbing, his mind swarming with maddess. All the while, trapped inside, was a young boy crying for mercy.


	5. I Trust You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm aware that Tintagel Castle and Dozmary Pool are not right on top of one another, but it helped my story along for them to be. It's fiction.

Chapter 5: I Trust You

The moment they stepped into the flat Merlin had been able to tell something was wrong, but Arthur went on as if everything was perfectly normal. Which of course let him know even more that something was wrong. His beloved had never been truly keen when it came to picking up magic. That thought led the warlock to believe that something magical had happened here. 

That was when he saw it, the altered picture. Arthur and Morgana were seated side by side, their heads bowed together as they laughed at something. Eyes widening he spun, searching out the other pictures in their home. Morgana had been added to several, there were some completely new, but the one that struck him the most held Gwen. The four of them were all dressed up, probably for one of Arthur’s galas, Morgana had her arms around Gwen and Merlin had his head on Arthur’s shoulder. 

He remembered that night, and she hadn’t been there. Neither of them had. Why would Gwen be with the witch who hurt them so much? It didn’t make sense. In the midst of his panic Merlin turned to find Arthur on the phone, a smile on his features. 

“Yeah Morgs, I have him home now. Honestly, it’s a relief. Dinner? Ah… It would need to be here.” Catching Merlin’s gaze the blond interrupted the panic in his eyes as something completely different. Arthur was talking to Morgana, Morgana was here. The blasted witch. “Make sure you bring Gwen, it’s been a while since I’ve seen her.” 

“Oh, if only you remembered.” Merlin grumbled, lowering himself onto their sofa with a groan. Suddenly he felt far too old, as if his ancient mind was overruling his young body, and he just wanted a nap. Kicking off his shoes in the middle of the room he shot Arthur a dark look as he curled up. 

“Yeah, yeah. You’re bringing the food. Something easy like pizza. Don’t skimp on me. Oh, I love you too Morgana. I have to go. Merlin looks grumpy.” Hanging up on his sister the blond went over and scooped his love up off of the couch. “I agree, we should take a nap. Let’s do it in bed.” 

“I have a feeling you mean more than a nap.” He accused, though his arms went around Arthur. They hadn’t done anything too intimate, Arthur being impossibly sweet in taking care of his feelings. After all, he didn’t want to take advantage of the other. He wasn’t the Merlin he knew. Yet the more time went on, the more he seemed to think he was. 

“Whatever do you mean Merlin? I would never take advantage of a wounded man. You destroy me with your accusations.” Laying the other upon their plush bed Arthur smiled, pressing a kiss to his cheek before sliding the other out of his trousers. 

“Ah! Arthur!” Laughing the warlock wiggled back, his long legs kicking out as Arthur removed his own trousers and joined him in bed. Curling around the other like a snake his arm settled around Merlin’s stomach.

“We aren’t doing anything but taking a nap Merlin. Now rest. You giant ninny.” The blond accused as he settled behind the other. 

Something in Merlin shifted in that moment, his actual memories fighting with the memories of the body he had taken over, and before he could stop himself, he was rolling over to face the man. “I don’t want to nap anymore.” He found himself grinning before he met Arthur in a kiss. Just like old times. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Morgana, are you sure this is going to be okay?” Gwen asked, chewing on her lower lip nervously as she fiddled with the ring she now wore. Arthur’s ring had been removed, and was hidden safely in her purse, but the diamond that now rested on her finger was surprisingly heavy. 

In the memories she had pushed into Arthur and Merlin’s host body, she was married to the witch, and had briefly dated Arthur only for him to realize they didn’t fit. Which hurt a little but was the truth of it. They didn’t fit. And quite a long time ago she had given her heart to another. But they were in the middle of a war. This game of pretend didn’t seem to fit in with the struggle they had faced back in Camelot. 

“It will be alright Gwen.” Morgana promised, taking her hand to press a kiss to it. Sure, she was being a little self indulgent in their mission to save Arthur. But she figured this was the only chance she would get with Gwen. 

Holding the pizza boxes the former queen looked up at her life-long friend, and offered a shy smile. “I trust you.” 

Those words did more than settle her nerves as Morgana shifted the wine in her arms and knocked on the door to Arthur’s flat. 

Pulling open the door Merlin smiled at them both, wrapping his arms around them in a hug. “I’m sorry I worried you both. Come on, come inside.” Beckoning them into the flat the warlock didn’t seem to notice the strange looks the two women gave him as they followed. 

“Ladies! I was hoping you’d listen to the pizza request! I made salad.” Arthur beamed at the two of them, happier than ever before now that Merlin was acting like himself once again. It seemed the odd episode of Camelot was over.   
Sharing a look Morgana simply put on a smile and sauntered forward. “Well, I also brought wine. So we’ll have a fully balanced meal.” Kissing her brother on the cheek the witch was shocked by the hug she received in return. It had been so long since Arthur and she had shared any sort of affection that it brought tears to her eyes. 

Sensing the upset in the other Gwen shook away her fears and stepped forward. “I have the main course. Merlin, are we eating at the table?” 

“Yes, yes we are. Let’s set the pizza on the bar and we can self serve.” Placing a kiss on her cheek he moved around with a spring in his step as he went to get the plates. After all, he and Arthur finally seemed to be back on track. His idiot was smiling without a care in the world and he seemed pleased that his sister was here. A moment of unease passed through him as he thought of Morgana. Yet as quickly as the moment came, it was gone. 

Shaking his head to clear it Merlin grabbed the plates, not wanting to make anyone wait any longer. “Make sure everyone gets their food before we sit. Arthur, pop the wine will you.” Letting out a laugh as he went to get his own food. 

Sharing a look with Morgana the former queen waited for her cue before she nodded and tried to blend into this modern world. Honestly she was still in a bit of shock, but that didn’t mean that she was going to let this mission fail. Something was wrong with Merlin though. He hadn’t even reacted to Morgana being there. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that evening after wine had been consumed and all the pizza eaten Gwen stood, snagging Arthur by the hand. “Arthur, I really need to talk to you about something. Will you come with me to the balcony?” 

“Um… Sure Gwen… Yeah.” Confused as to why she would choose him over Merlin he stood, kissing the man on the cheek before following after Gwen. If she needed him he would be there. 

Sitting together on the couch Morgana and Merlin had their heads bent together as they shared in a laugh. It had been one of the things she had missed during her years at Mordred’s side. It was such an odd thing, but she missed laughter. Though the second they were alone her expression shifted and she laid her hand over Merlin’s earnestly. 

“I need you to listen to me.” The witch insisted, which made Merlin jerk back a little. “Merlin, seriously. Focus. What have you done? You were yourself when we came to this world but now you are acting like the shell. What happened?”

“Acting like… the shell?” Frowning at her words Merlin tilted his head curiously, his blue eyes wide and trusting. “Morgs, you’re being silly. I know we used to love to play pretend but honestly Arthur says it’s not good for me. Camelot isn’t real, right?” 

“By the gods.” Eyes widening in distress Morgana turned to search for Gwen, yet when she came back to Merlin a kitchen knife was at her throat. “Ah, you really do like playing pretend, don’t you Emrys?”   
“Why are you here to ruin everything?” The warlock hissed, gold flashing in his eyes for the barest of moments as he held the knife to her throat. “I finally have Arthur trusting me. We were going to go to the museum where his crown is. With that I could use blood magic to get back! Did Mordred send you?” 

“I came here to help. To make sure he sent no one else who could hurt you. Why else would Gwen be here?” 

“You’ve used her before.” He shrewdly reminded her, his tone barely a hiss. Looking over her shoulder he sent Arthur a smile, though the second the man turned, Morgana pounded. 

Using her magic she turned the knife into bubbles, allowing them to blow away and pop. “Come Emrys, I’m sure you have a spell to reverse that.” Taunting Merlin in the past had always been a good way to get him to react. She needed his magic to come forward, needed him to overtake the shell before Merlin Ambrosious overtook him. “Come on Emrys, attack me!” Morgana hissed, her hand grabbing the front of his shirt viciously. 

“I can’t.” Came the soft reply, though his gaze was dark with distrust. “Some bitch bound my magic with a dark spell that took our king from us and all but destroyed my home.” 

“You are outside of the dome. Your magic should have returned.” Giving him a shake Morgana had to pull back when Gwen’s voice was suddenly a touch too loud. 

“Oh Arthur, perhaps we should leave them. You know they have their tiffs.” The former queen attempted, though she was really warning the two magic users. 

“What the hell are you doing Morgana?” Arthur demanded, making his way around the couch to scoop an arm around Merlin and lift him over the back and into the safety of his arms. “I saw you grab his shirt. You know Merls just got out of the hospital.” 

“This bastard told me I wouldn’t be the godmother to your future children. I had to teach him a lesson.” Huffing out the lie easily Morgana tossed her dark hair over her shoulder before folding her arms over her chest. This adventure had given her much to think about. 

“I don’t think either of them should be godmothers to our children.” Merlin spoke suddenly, his gaze cutting to Gwen with hurt before he pushed himself out of Arthur’s hold. “I am tired. Arthur, please see the girls out.” With that the warlock walked away, not sure he was able to deal with this situation any longer. 

Wondering what the hell had just happened Arthur stared at his sister with wide; but her gaze was on the ring that rested on his finger now. What had Gwen done? 

“Come on Morgana, we should go. Perhaps he’s had just a bit too much excitement.” Grabbing the other woman by the arm Gwen kissed Arthur on the cheek. “Remember what I said.” She warned, before leading a started Morgana out the door. 

“What on earth did you do?” Morgana demanded the moment they were alone in the lift. 

“I did what should have been done. I gave Arthur a reminder of the man he was. Of the man his mother wanted him to be. A man who took care of his spouse despite how odd it seemed.” The former queen glared, lifting her chin stubbornly. 

“So you convinced him to take Merlin to the museum?” The witch set her hands on her hips. 

“Not the museum. To Tintagel Castle, which is set up as a King Arthur museum. But it is also right next to what would be Lake Avalon. You said the Lady of the Lake had to bring Arthur back for this to work.” 

“Oh you brilliant woman.” Planting a sudden kiss on her lips Morgana was beaming from ear to ear. Their plan could actually work. She had done such research. For Arthur to get through, he had to travel through the like. And he would rise once again in Camelot. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Merlin, what the hell was that? You’ve never treated Morgana like that before!” Arthur barged into their bedroom, finding the man on his phone in the center of their bed. 

“She deserved what I said. If you were yourself you’d remember that.” Grumbling to himself Merlin frowned when he couldn’t get the blasted phone to work. His mind was switching back and forth between his memories so quickly he nearly felt dizzy. 

“Oh, so you’re having a tizzy and take it out on my sister?” Snatching the phone from his hands Arthur unlocked it with his thumb before dropping it back into the other’s grip. “I don’t like what is happening here Merlin.” 

“You don’t like what’s happening? What’s happening is I have been telling you since I woke up in this blasted place that I need to get back to Camelot. I need to get back to the Knights even if you won’t come with me. And instead of listening you treat me like I’m crazy!” Only partially through his rant Merlin rose so he was kneeling on the bed and could better speak to Arthur. “Half the time I think I’m crazy because sometimes I wake up and I’m Emrys, sometimes I wake up and I’m the man you want me to be! But neither is the truth. I’m just Mer- What are you doing?” He found himself deflating as Arthur threw a travel bag onto the bed and went to his dresser. Arthur couldn’t leave. That would ruin everything. 

“You want to see things about blasted King Arthur, someone who I am not, then we shall go. But we are going to go to Tintagel Castle. It is better than that dumpy museum you want to go to.” Packing a change of clothes into the bed Arthur found himself stilling when Merlin lunged forward to take his hand. 

“Where did you get this?” The warlock nearly whispered, staring down at the ring that had been Arthur’s mother’s. The ring that had meant so much to him. The ring the Queen had worn. 

“Gwen gave it back to me today. She said she forgot she had it from our short time of dating and wanted me to have it back.” Shifting his grip Arthur took his lover by the hands, making Merlin look at him. “I do not want to fight with you at all. So let’s go, once this is all over can we come home and try to get back to normal?” 

“I can’t promise normal, but I can promise home.” Merlin offered, though his smile was weak. After all, if he got what he wanted they would be home in Camelot. Hopefully that would awaken his King. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they had arrived at Tintagel Castle the warlock had been filled with hope and excitement. The crown and a bit of blood magic and they would be home in Camelot. Arthur had risen, their need was greatest, he was just stuck outside the dome. They needed to get back. 

Yet despite all the wonderful things that had been found that supposedly belonged to Arthur, none of it did really, there was no crown. Merlin was nearly in tears by the time they left the castle. Arthur was rubbing soothing circles on his back, yet it was doing nothing to calm him as he tried to force air into his lungs. 

“How are we going to get home? How Arthur! Without the crown I do not have a connection to Camelot! I cannot get us back even with blood magic!” Rounding on the man his tears were fresh, which caused Arthur to pull his love into his arms. 

“It’s alright Merlin. We’ll figure it out.” Even if he didn’t believe, he hated to see Merlin cry. So here he was, standing on the shores of Dozmary Pool, with a crying Merlin in his arms. And his name being called from behind. “What?” Frowning he turned to see Gwen running up to them, what looked to be blood dripping from her brow. 

“Gwen!” Breaking away from each other the men ran for her, each taking a side. “Gwen what the hell happened?” Merlin found himself asking as Arthur searched for any threat. She had appeared nearly out of nowhere. 

“Morgana sent me here with her magic. Cenred was sent, he… Oh gods he has her Merlin.” Clutching at the warlock’s shirt she gave him a shake. “I know you do not care for her, but I love her Merlin. And she has done nothing but try to keep us safe from Mordred for the last 800 years!” 

“Gwen calm down.” Arthur attempted to soothe, rubbing her back gently as she faced Merlin. He could clearly see the blood streaming down her face from her brow so the wound was fresh. Which meant they had to be near, but he could see no threat. “Tell me, where is the threat.” 

“Oh Arthur, I cannot with you right now. I love you, but you aren’t who we need. It is Cenred, and you don’t know how to wield a sword. Much less fight a man with one.” Drawing a deep breath to steady herself she turned to face Merlin who had been silent this whole time. “Merlin, please. For me. Do this for me.” 

“I’ll stop him because of all of you. But don’t think this is over.” The warlock warned as he removed his sweater and pressed it against her head to stop the bleeding. “Arthur, take care of Gwen. Hide somewhere. I need to get something from the castle.” Before anyone could stop him Merlin was running up the stairs of the once grand castle. Hopefully these old swords could help him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for getting through this. I have no idea how long this will be. But it will be multi-chapter. Any feedback is appreciated. Though if it isn't constructive or positive, none of us have time for it.


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